Given that the study of traditions and laws related to marriage of Turkmens can contribute to our appropriate understanding of this ethnicity, we have allocated today's article to the wedding traditions among Turkmens. Meanwhile, one should note that wedding ceremonies maintain a number of differences in different Turkmen tribes.
Turkmens, like other ethnicities, believe that all individuals should get married. This viewpoint is the result of Turkmen's religious beliefs and their nomadic lifestyle. The phenomenon of marriage among these people, especially among Turkmen nomads and villagers, has not gone through major changes, and therefore roots of nomadic lifestyle are clearly evident in their wedding ceremonies. On this basis, the Turkmens still marry at a young age and are still committed to their customs and traditions, despite the developments which have taken shape in their social life in the recent years. The Turkmens prefer to choose their future spouse from their own tribe. The marriage of Turkmens with non-Turkmens is highly rare and even if it takes place it would be unacceptable in accordance to the norms of Turkmen community.
The Turkmens maintain a set of special values for selection of their spouse, and in doing so; Turkmens consider the characteristics of the mother of their future wives. They believe they should choose a spouse, whose mother manifests merited characteristics. Also the capability of women in discharging their daily duties, their physical health, skills, and patience in the face of adversities are the characteristics which are taken into account in assessment of future spouses. In regard to men, their financial ability and honesty are taken into consideration.
Given that the commencement of married life is an uplifting experience for all, this phase of life starts with a set of special customs and traditions; each of which show the beliefs and values governing the Turkmen community. In fact, the marriage of Turkmens consists of a number of phases. In the first place, the parents of the groom decide in this regard and try to win the support of the bride's father. In this phase, the father of the family makes decisions about the marriage of his child with a peer family, and sends a seasoned and elderly relative to the bride's family. Upon the approval of the bride's family, the next phases take place.
The next phase is the marriage proposal. In this manner, the groom's family, after being informed of the agreement of bride's family, sets an appropriate time for sending the female relatives of the groom to the bride's family; with the bride's family receiving the guests. Only women take part in this ceremony, while the groom's family brings homemade breads, baked by Turkmen women, as a present to the bride's home. These traditional breads are locally referred to as "Saachaaq". The exchange of these local breads between the families of the groom and the bride take place with the intention of establishment of friendly ties, and provision of the needed breads for the wedding ceremony.
The next stage in Turkmen's marriage ceremonies is determination of the milk money, which include cash and assets such as sheep, cows, rams, and camels.
The next phase is the wedding ceremony. On this occasion, the groom's family sacrifices a sheep, taking it to the bride's house in addition to a number of other presents. On this day, the bride sits in another Turkmen nomadic tent, or in the house of one of her relatives such as her brother or uncle, and covers her face from the female relatives of the groom. The bride highly respects her husband's relatives, especially her mother-in-law and rarely speaks in their presence.
The wedding ceremony is an occasion of festivity. On her way to the groom's house, the bride wears a red headscarf. The red color is the sign of happiness among Turkmens. Immediately after the arrival of the bride in the groom's house, the groom's family receives the guests, and in the afternoon, the wedlock ceremony takes place in the presence of a cleric at the groom's house.
One of the Turkmen ceremonies during the wedding is the Sechmek ceremony, in which a number of groom's male relatives throw coins, or items such as hats, tissues, and shoes among the guests. Whoever catches an object and returns it to the one, who threw it, will be given a prize which is usually a sum of money. Only men take part in this ceremony. Another ceremony which takes place on the wedding day is the wrestling match, while the winners are awarded prizes by the groom's family. Those, who maintain a high financial ability, hold horse riding competitions on the wedding day.
One of the other merited traditions of Turkmens is the Festivity of Consultation, which is one of their age-old customs. It is based on a sense of cooperation and respect among individuals. In this manner, whenever a family announces that it intends to hold a wedding ceremony, up to seven families in their neighborhood assist that family in the related ceremonies. This merited tradition has remained to this day among the Turkmen tribes. For instance, this cooperation is evident in preparing food, transferring messages, and pitching tents during the wedding ceremonies.
The norms of Turkmen community are in line with protection and reinforcement of the family, because the strength of any family boosts the credibility of that tribe, and any measure which would shake the solidness of the family is strongly opposed by the members of Turkmen community. Hence, divorce is not accepted by the Turkmens and is a very rare phenomenon among them.
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